AJ Hapenny on Crazy Crime

saraphina and I were in a entrepreneurial book club where Stephanie never read the right book and Stephanie was terrible at this book club I really sto at CL I did not fabulous I'm what I just had a visual had a visual proud of it hello I tried looking up Stephanie in the morning on YouTube and it comes up to a Gwen Stefani song uh 4 in the morning oh I didn't even know that that was a song four in the morning how you doing oh I'm doing I'm doing famously so right before this uh Stephanie and I were doing our writing ballots and oh God we go she she filled it she filled it in none of the candidates on there were good enough and it started with the p the D the I the Diddy how think people are writing that down like Freemont Diddy I have just come back from Miami and uh for showb so thank you very much for answering the call absolutely welcome back and uh it was it was nice it was warm it was a nice reprieve but God I do not like South Florida oh sorry friends it's just a it's hot it's a lot it's expensive every body in Massachusetts was there because Taylor Swift show was there first of all that's Ron De Santa country so sorry he's done nothing wrong except except wear 10inch heels it's not against you Ron I'm just saying it's very expensive not easy to get around um but I did have a really good time for my friend's 60th birthday so um who doesn't put it on the calendar hey Cong congratulations to the friend for making it to the 60th not being eaten by your Florida Alligator so proud of you so so her 60th wasn't on the my husband put our vacation on a different calendar oh so I didn't what calendar so we have like two separate like work calendar your calendar my calendar and it was on the work calendar it was on his work calendar which I don't see so I had no idea I planned another vacation I I planned something else where where did you where did you plan the vacation somewhere else in Florida maybe Mora I was going to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ser with my friend Rich uh who is being inducted this year so there was a a million and five people being inducted it looks like a really good show and I'm kind of a bit jealous because everything from Mary J blig to Kelly Clarkson to to dualipa it was like a swath of people a share I mean I could have checked all the boxes and been done with my concert going for the year which is why we normally like to go oh sure oh Sher would have been great right so but they're only like little Snippets it's only like one song and it's not their song and they're singing with other people it's just the sheer amount of celebrity in one room that's a so so share would have sang 20 seconds of rush and then something like that kicked off the stage right exactly they're like and we're moving on to the next thing and it's always televised on Disney plus so they it's you get the back end of things I don't watch Disney plus because liberal station oh my God would you stop this is going to be a day you have joined a great show they're trying to make all my kids into [ __ ] nannies who's checking in with us there you go you're already posting on your events and everything that's going on that's right I I posted the link to the next show at knock about November 14th and for the for the one person watching uh if if you if you click on that link and put in um uh put put in the promo code Steph all capitals you'll get you you'll get a surprise I'm that confident I put a ridiculous deal on this I'm that confident nobody's going to give a crap and and and and click on that I will lose money if you actually buy ticket on I want to lose money on this but I heard that Janelle Draper is uh really funny J Janelle is absolutely hilarious um she she's a regular opener for Nikki Glazer and you kind of got a little viral video that happened to be filmed right at yeah uh when she when she was uh featuring for Steve Sweeney this is about a year and a half ago uh she decided to film her uh special that was uh on bumble's website and also their social medias so so there's one clip of hers that got 20 million views that's awesome and she filmed like a short special there that has gone viral you're like girl that was at knockabout that's exciting we like famous things on kcod we we like f we like famous things at at knockabout so do come on down do support if you don't want to go don't go but if you do want to go buy tickets now because it UPS the algorithm so if you don't give a crap about comedy just ignore it you are a promoter and a half you better you better you better believe like if if you want the comedy scene to thrive just just uh just just get just get get a ticket and see an amazing show oh I I'm just pumped to be having you in the studio as my first show back I've got a lot to talk about good morning Emily good morning Dan hello Dave Noble are you still up this is not your time of day or did one of the kids miss the bus oh Pro probably first day back yesterday um well first of all we were away so my daughter came home from college to hang out with her brother uhhuh go on well this was the first time she's been home from school and then like brought like a troop of friends they forget that we have cameras outside and we can watch everything they do so when they come in and out the house I'm watching all those idiots like breaking things Smashing Pumpkins literally not not a good band oh oh please for the love of God smash the pumpkins out our front don't bring Billy Corgan I would have liked who look like a divorced toddler to to to my house I have a friend of mine that had a crush on him growing up and I was like but why we don't need yeah we don't need it no they didn't we never needed it Meredith you know who you are shout out to Meredith and her strange f and now she's dating the bald guy from Six Flags cbar on my last little trip when I did finally meet the man she has been dating for um eight years for the first time and she was just like yeah see it's just James I was like oh well that's wow that's a lot of romance there eight years for the first time wow uh right just doesn't want to bring him around I don't know no we had people like that we didn't bring around we called those the practice girl it's not the practice girl it's been married this is like the marriage I mean like the date the person she's been dating after her divorce who is it give it a shout out it's name hey James I really enjoyed your company I think you're a great guy wife but your wife does not I do not know well that is our question of the day today James click the link above if you need to pick me up come to a Janelle show we'll getch you going come to a Janelle Draper show November November 14 he's a very southern guy though I don't think he would farewell I think that they had one trip to to Maine and uh and it was not in oh yeah that's right they don't like women um or Yankees apparently just just like my great great great great grandpy just get get over it bro you're telling us to get over racism and you can't get over the Civil War there is a lot happening in the world right now energy is supercharged at this point our question of the day is what screams unhappy marriage screaming that was a Rachel Ray thing in our prep today as I was looking through all the stories of the day she said that that's a healthy marriage that makes a healthy marriage is screaming at each other um she's also been married four times girl I do not know if that makes a happy marriage screaming at each other um what's worse than screaming is the passive aggressiv ISM just Ju Just like oh what do you want to eat tonight I don't care you pick it's just like to me that's worse than screaming I well we had an adjustment period as I like to call it when I'm fighting with my husband yesterday when we had come back from vacation you know all the fun is gone and now you got to go back to work and it's a series of did you do this why didn't you do that why is that not done did you do that you said that that was done that's not done so it was all of that yesterday it was that energy all day yesterday and it was so irritating bringing up receipts I love it it was it really was and it was I finally at the end of the day I was like so you're finally admitting that you were the one that did it do this and said you did this why did you just say that why' you have to fight me on it yeah I didn't like your tone that sounds like my relationship with hoton I love hen not what he accuses me of lying I was like dude when have I ever lied to you oh I never said that and I show him like the screenshots and he's like well I don't remember saying that like well you don't have to skip to like gaslighting gaslighting is something you do on the third step Joe ellia I am so sorry we did not get you on the show earlier I just could not finagle it I was not back in time um he's got something going on drop the information on what you've got going on because it's kind of cool a little chef series Chef Joe Beth says silence he says no clean underwear what screams unhappy marriage uh no clean underwear you're constantly Shing uh so not folding laundry if if I had to be cleaner on that oh the amount of laundry I still have to do I'm just not ready for it not prepared for it yet so my daughter came home had all of her friends over um and just like started breaking stuff stuff around the house on purpose or just idiots no they're just idiots okay it was like the first time she has been home so all of her you friends from Mash P are back together for the first time like five or six of them breaking stuff and doing dumb stuff and Mom's not home and ah so it's a Limp Biscuit music video on your ring camly yes 100% yes I was treated to quite a show and then she's a little bit sad that she did come home cuz now she's like I miss home I miss my dog I miss my cat I miss my things I miss I missed my safe space section on campus she's doing fine it's Halloween season in Salem so she's good she's got plenty to do what's she dressing as I have no idea are you doing a family costume no no she's at College she's done with family stuff oh I'm sorry Joe next time I promise um sorry we're sorry Joe I feel like Joe's apartment with the Cockroaches we're sorry Crow saw enough bugs in my lifetime I saw some serious things in Miami I saw uh a man with one leg that was like I don't know asking people to buy pictures with his parrots with his parrots yes oh okay well that that seems that seems a little more in innocent he was a real life pirate and there there was like five different parrots and he was like whipping him around grabbing him you stand here you stand here stand on this one's head take the photo give me the money lady it was it was his graft it was his hustle oh so that was like a take a picture with Spider-Man Hollywood bull correct only it was a guy with one leg and a bunch of parrots so I was fascinated by him I sat by him for a solid hour just watching him go it could it could it could have been weirder right like he said as soon as I vote for Trump my leg is gonna grow back he promised me I bought his coin I don't know what was going on we saw a lot there lots of um political t-shirts yeah they're they're all in they're all in spray paint like terp 2024 first of all you spell Trump wrong it's not terp I saw a woman with a trumpf faed duffel bag duffel it was monstrous and I just looked over I just burst out laughing like where does one purchase this item I have a tremendous duffel bag it can fill everything I just I where you can put a whole Goose you can put your dogs and cats so they don't get eaten I I really did feel like I was at the circus what was happening they're eating the gooses the beautiful gooses you do that too well I'm kind of disturbed oh Emily you warned them about the cameras right she said oh yeah they won't see well we did we saw enough Christy really enjoyed your uh thank you Christy shout out to Christie oh God H Christie click on click on that link put in the promo code Steph capitals and you'll get a big surprise you get a big surprise you'll get you you'll get you'll get an amazing surprise so what's our big secret announcement oh uh so starting uh starting early 2025 I AJ hapening will be teaching a comedy course in b I love that and uh I'll when when the official announcement is out you'll know the exact club uh but keep an eye out like es especially if if you're uh if you're Southshore area Boston area or cape and you and you and you want and you want to learn comedy um I I told I told uh I told the venue I'm just gonna follow um I'm just gonna follow their syllabus yeah for like the first semester and then uh after that I'm going to modify it so it's more I love this and then so so I could teach so I could teach the students proper Club etiquette how to treat the staff don't treat the stash staff like crap why do people forget that oh my goodness we had we had we had one comic that was that was arguing with a bar manager why like why like dude it's still your first year in comedy you don't want build that garbage reputation already but don't they collectively know anyone out there listening right now the best way to continue to work at a venue or to be patronized by a venue is to make sure all the staff really like you it just makes it a lot easier to come and go and everyone says wow we like that person have that person back I don't understand why it's so difficult and AR argument for them would be well well it's not like they're going to work there forever exactly they're gonna work at another Barre and remember how badly you Tre like that just spreads and how you try to Puff out your chest like pey style and you're just just like oh why don't I get booked they're like this is why because nobody likes you yeah yeah that something is said to be said about just general kindness I don't think it necessar means when you're working in a club but that is something to remind people of no matter where you are portray that behavior what's inadvertently helped me and I didn't realize this until like much later on but just being ni nice and cool to to staffers they're going to work at other bars and then you're wonder why this bar is hitting you up to to put together a show and it just like oh there's two people from that another bar that that remembered me exactly and and uh and and told their manager uh about about me to have a show yes people remember and it's Cape Cod we know everyone yeah everyone knows everyone it's a it's a it's a small trans Island oh yeah is is is Cap Cod I just just like we're going treat it like a biological Island okay that's fine yeah either way well like pronouns are on Cape Cod not in Cape C correct so uh that's a one that gets me though everybody gets really irritated you can tell someone that's not from the cape Yeah by if they use in Cape Cod but but but then like I'll see so fire it's on Cape Cod I said yeah but you have you have a shirt that say I don't respect pronouns so like I saw a pronoun t-shirt the other day and I was just like what why why it was also next to the giant Trump bag so I should have known I should have known better my pronouns are I will eat your butt like if you're not patriotic I just like well I consider myself patriotic but uh maybe for a little bit I'll consider myself not oh Tanya says we go to your shows uh always a good time oh than thank you Tanya I appreciate that can that be a by line for you AJ always a good time oh oh uh well that's the opposite of people say except when they go to my shows good morning Miss Lauren I'm going to see you in a little while looking forward to our meeting and squeezing you very much our decorating committee is meeting today uh for the Cape Cod Christmas markets which are coming oo the Cape Cod Christmas Pageant it's and then the Grinch will show up not a pageant there's no grinches oh yeah there's a pageant they're just like so I was promised a check well uh the only ones that are going to be eating per se the G at Christmas Mar this is not pudding well what is it our goats T's gonna bring the mindful goats from goat yoga and we are going to be orating the Nutcracker goat yoga yeah yeah the goats are really stepping on people's nuts just I have their tutos already I dusted them off T's got many many costumes we are going to have to have a dress rehearsal because last year it got a little wonky but the goats you know they need a little Direction yeah goat goats are hilarious they love them everybody loved the goats of goat yoga so they are going to be reprising their role in The Nutcracker this year and I'm very excited for the goat cracker part two yes com in the capc Christmas markets oh I I I can't I can't wait for the goat cracker it's F I'm I'm really excited all right good and then uh also also Tanya if you're still watching click the link above put in the promo code Steph all capital letters you will get a surprise tonight or uh until until 9: until 9:00 a.m. I am canceling that amazing promo code good morning hey Jackie good morning thank you for always my being my morning laugh a thanks Jackie we brought a comedian honey you are my shining star don't you go away that that was nice you to say say that to Stephanie Jackie thank you it could have been you no no it was you well thanks guys yeah it's horror movie day I do not like them they scare me your friend is the horror author who we had on the show yeah that was fun yeah D Dan lion who uh was was supposed to do a a book signing at Red none uh but he had to get sick and go to the hospital weeny is he okay uh he might be dead now but well he dead to me you hear that dead line just like no so the re resched is going to be um uh November 20 21st at at the red nun uh this time he has uh more than 10 books uh to to to sign so it it'll be it'll be a good time uh this is a time of year that is definitely difficult to book events yesterday it already started I was at trivia and I just heard the one woman just wouldn't stop with the cough and the cough and the cough and I'm like oh so help me if you get me sick lady I have no time for illness I went home I took by vitamin C the immune C whatever it is I'm like I am not I am not getting sick not having it but yeah Halloween time so so was she coughing or was it grosser in like mouth open it was gross it was just everywhere I love those people that sneeze and just go and then they go a true just like why are you covering your mouth beforehand just to release we're so much more sensitive because of covid that we're just really poor people even when you had your allergy seasoning oh you meanies fake disease it's just allergies just allergies it's fine whatever it is but if you sound like that go somewhere else stay home stay home it was just like I have cough OCD I have to cough on every surface as soon as I enter a building no uh Lana Del re got married over the weekend oh good good to an old biker I assume did you see who married her though who did he you are just dying for a diddy conversation we'll have one we'll have one no no I I what makes you think that I I get sucked into all the Tik toks we'll get there in a minute but and we can wrap all of this up together um Justin Bieber's spiritual advisor was her efficient spiritual advisor can we talk about this spir spiritual ADV so so so that's a guy that deals them shrooms spiritual advice get the hell out of here journey together Bieber I know yeah like you said let's not talk about Diddy now so Justin Bieber that's what I saying I'm we'll tie all this up in a nice little tight bow it's not a problem since all the celebrities are bows that was his problem in the first place all right this is not public trying to share I don't know why oh maybe it's because it's my personal page TIY if you go on the Stephanie in the morning one you can probably share that one but if it's on my personal SN page it's probably why it's not sharable today thank you tivy shout out to tivy I love him and funus and all of the fabulousness that you are finding yourself in uh ain't I love everyone in funck Theus except Tom Davis you hear me Tom Davis you're done you're canell is that your roommate no no I I I like Tom Davis whenever I whenever I I go to Charlie's music like uh Tom goes just what' you break shout out to our friends over at Charlie's music I love Charlie's music it's awesome it's a great little spot yeah yeah because like a lot of comics that are start they're starting out that that need equipment I always refer them over to Charlie's music and if you go online to Charlie's music today uh Slash AJ's discount you will get 2% off your entire order two% yeah hey comedians need every present they can get exactly we need it we need every present that we we can get absolutely um so you've got this show with Janelle Draper coming up yep November 14th we're really excited fundraiser on the 9th somewhere uh yes yes we do it's for St Vincent dep Paul oh very cool last time we had it it was at the church uh and uh I did a 30 minute clean set so this one uh still having the fundraiser but we don't have to be clean I was like what does an AJ 30 minute clean set look like oh you you'll have you'll have to see for yourself that that that that was one that even Grandma was was allowed to go to so so so like some corporates uh that I'm that I'm talking with right now that are setting up Christmas shows um said yeah I I I I I saw your said but can you do a clean one I'm like yeah absolutely but you'll have more but as you've seen my set before you'll have a better time well I don't want HR but like HR works for the company things you don't want to hear HR is the most useless that's why everybody hated Toby because he couldn't do anything exactly thank you poor Toby Toby is like our H go you can't do that Toby shout out to our good friend Chris hotton who had a fantastic Set uh for the Drew Dunn show uh last Last Friday yeah so I was upset that I was out of town because I love Drew Dunn um one of our friends is personally friends with him so she's had him at private shows which I absolutely I he's just kills he's just funny when he's allowed to be in a relaxed environment nobody cares and he knows he's going to get automatic laughs because we're all pretty you know jovial people in general he just he crushed for a solid 45 minutes like my sides hurt he's funny Joe Rogan like uh did a shout out to Drew Dunn and uh Joe Rogan did a reaction video to his recent Trump uh impression yeah of after he got assassinated or assassinated upon him and uh if if Joe r as a comic that that's that's the ultimate rub I think oh yeah well at least you'll get noticed at any point so oh Joe Rogen whether you like him or you hate him you're drawn into him I liked his latest comedy especially I thought it was pretty funny very sweaty I thought it was fine um sweaty I I was also comparing it to um his other specials like uh because when Netflix was first streaming that was the first special that I saw yeah and I thought it was ABS absolutely phenomenal but but then again if I'm seeing a comedian's later work I don't think it's really fair of me to compare their ear work because I already have an initial reaction and you've heard some amalgamation of their joke before like it was fine but if I didn't watch his other specials I probably would have enjoyed it a lot more yeah it it's it's just like listening to Van Halen's uh album 1984 and then anything after that like it's fine that's all right which isn't really fair to Van Halen we just liked your earlier works better we well you assigned them a certain sound it's just like comedians we've assigned you a certain amount of Comedy like we expect that level from you or nothing else is good and then Louis CK's Le is special it was like oh I haven't seen that yet it was like AI wrote a Louis ck7 oh that's unfortunate it was still good but but it it it it felt like AI was just trying to be even grosser than before I ran into Louis CK when I was on Block Island and uh oh hey Stephanie um he's just as awkward back at my hotel there's that something I uh want to show you there is none of that he's just such an awkward person I love Lou yeah he's like he's a jerk but he's also like an awkward jerk oh these women were ask me do you want to take a picture I said no but they were just taking pictures of themselves I'm a jerk like yeah yeah yeah that's that's spot on right there just someone that you ever watched that's so uncomfortable in their skin like they want to just take it off like that's how he is it's weird but my my favorite I'll I'll spoil one line that he did from his uh special from this year um uh it was now God doesn't hate you because you're gay God Made You Gay because he hates you that perfect that is such a perfect joke a Janelle Draper November 14th we've got a lot of stuff going on whenever we have dead air a whole pinch no we're allowed to have dead air it's not dead air it's just an a pregnant pause oh pregnant pause yes oh oh what oh the Republicans will love that it's a pregnant pause this pause needs to come to term listen we've got a lot of events happening Emily is dropp dropping information about our clam jam that is happening November 17th we look at your face you're like I don't even know what to say here we're getting donations sounds like a video I watched last night it's a our fundraiser for lemon Adia we're working on a couple of projects and we have a high ticket item we are raising money for in 2025 it is a mobile food Farmers Market oh I know I know so we it's like it's $100,000 I had the meeting have you ever been in a meeting where you're so out of your depth and it's with this Canadian company that does amazing things and it's just really cool and I found myself in the circle and you know we'll we'll find the pricing because they don't put the price on the menu they don't put the what is the price so we're sitting there and it's like oh how much oh but the bigger ones $250,000 yeah we're probably gonna want that one yeah thank you shut the thing off well we're not getting that not happening those those crap Canadians and they just seemed like very matter of fact like oh yeah this is you know how much it is oh yeah I I can't yeah I can't do a Canadian accent I'm terrible at accents but he asked me about um if I wanted to go see some of their other trucks in action do I know where GL GL glester is what what Gloucester yes oh so they pronounced it glester and andester right exactly I it was absolutely a a ply mouth yeah I had no idea what he was saying to me for a minute because it was the Canadian accent to boot with to boot right exactly I see what you did there with the other one and finally I was like Oh gler you mean glester sure yeah go go check in that they're really expensive trucks out and see if we like those ones but yeah I could not have gotten off that Zoom meeting faster because I was like we can't afford to be here don't touch anything shut it down goodbye shut it down we're doing it live do it alive yeah exactly so we've got a big fundraiser that we need to uh raise money for because apparently we're out of our depth as far as price goes oh don't worry uh we will we will help yeah Karen I always need your pancakes anytime you want to come over and make me pancakes if you're in the area please come she made them from scratch one time and she cleaned my kitchen nobody loves pancakes more than me speaking of horror movies um Cabin Fever randomly there's a kid in Cabin Fever that just says pancakes pancakes p no kid no pancakes and then he just does a Kung Fu move and bites the guy okay no pancakes yeah Karen we'll see you well Karen you're pancakes but uh Cabin Fever by the way we are setting a date probably next week February somewhere in the middle of February we always have a party it's always a good time it's that Sea Dog o I know we usually sell the place out like everybody loves a daytime dance party and we got on one of those like over 50 groups on Facebook and they ended up making it like their charitable thing so we raed SE dog and Yarmouth yes five grand for Habitat for Humanity we always pick a different love that beneficiary so this will year will be another beneficiary we'll see what that is like I am out tonight free the Donald uh that's not happening um I'll be out tonight over at Sandwich Taberna if you're looking for something yummy to eat if you Don it you get a free trp coin that says I'm voting for the for the Felon well uh I don't I this is my daughter's first election she's gonna vote in oh that oh that's great have her write in just like you did did he the P the D the uh the jitty this story gets grosser by the day yeah I don't believe any of it no I think it's all rumors I don't care how much evidence is but no it's he did it is like bad it's bad yeah like sold his do children did you see that like I don't even know how I don't not believe anything his children said they didn't sell me we willingly went in exchange of legal tender like yeah that's that's trafficking what's up Cindy she said that's my boy so oh Trump oh me too oh you're in hotlanta hotlanta living the dream oh congratulations Cindy no that's Ken so she's not bringing us pancakes is the bad news on that one oh so she'll she'll have to ship them ship the pancakes please thanks so they'll vacuum suck them and then when we open the bag they'll just puff right out again my husband has one of those stupid packing things hey I Cliff if you're one yeah it's it's a good thing good for you Cliff no his are the roll ones you push the air out to the other side okay watching him pack the other day was just painful I had to leave the room I'll Stand Down be another thing see I like those ones from from the from the infomercials right with the little vacuum that you suck all the air out of dude I always wanted to be but I was never white enough I always wanted to I always wanted to be the the people at the beginning of the infomercials that fumbles the through there's got to be a better way if you're looking for an infom marcial person this is this is your guy right and if you don't mind that I'm Brown cuz usually they only book dumb white people what yeah it's the beginning of every infomercial is a he's trying to put a thing together he's try to put a square into a triangle hole or there's there's always something there's always a dumb white guy at the beginning of every infomercial AJ watch watches a lot of late night television oh you better believe I don't sleep yeah but I'm always dreaming there are some magical things that happen on late night TV sometimes times you get sucked into some stuff you've never even watched before and you're wondering how is this on television girls God wild they're not legal the cops are currently looking for me rust in PE Shannon dor sorry you imagine being married to that guy oh my God what a disaster can can you imagine like sticking up sticking up for him too like the Kardashians did and I was just like you don't watch the Kardashians first of all I'm a dude so like no I'm not going watch and SEC and secondly he was the biggest sex trafficker next to Diddy and like why why I just sign this petition just like no I don't know why finally we're talking about the yucky yucky but I mean there's a lot of yucky yucky that's being aired right now no thank you yeah they're coming for you Ashton cutcher I cannot wait on theist you're gon be you're gonna be in jail next to Hyde you brought up a Kardashian and there was a story today that 11-year-old Northwest gifted Kim for her birthday a diamond necklace that said skibby toilet on it oh no that's the brain Rod that they're talking about what to you and North I typically I typically like your the videos your mom and you post but it's skibby to why does an 11-year-old have the amount of money to be able to get a diamond anything to gift to their mother like all all of the child support just goes to northwest's allowance yeah right that that's that's a whole Next Level something when an 11-year-old's buying skibby toilet diamond necklaces and uh cuz skibby toilet comes uh the face of that was grand Grand Theft Auto 4 which I'm seeing my nephews post that like listen that game came out before you were born so bad just like oh yeah I I know I know 911 was conspiracy like dude you're born 2008 I don't even they speak a full another language now I don't even understand you got you got the Riz stuff yeah no I am not the rizzler sorry just like I'm I'm just kicking like baby grank style bro I don't even know what my son was saying something to me yesterday and I'm like I that I don't know what you're saying SK I have no idea no clue K Kim's uh uh been dressing Northwest like Kanye right and it's been funny that's the only time I've ever really enjoyed Kim Kardashian well other than first video she did what's up Kelly how are you today uh let's see oh yeah Jaguar white have you watched any of the videos from Jaguar white you put me down a rabbit hole and you know what I am like when I am given a little little nugget of information and then I'm like well I have to investigate I need to get to the bottom of this I'm gonna watch every single stinking video I'm gonna lose a full day to watching Jaguar white stuff it's wild and then Cindy writes I called that Ashton is guilty definitely see rtb and I probably will be the first people to take your class oh excellent because both of us have this Obsession or this conversation we have been talking about this for the last three years so maybe we're gonna put this into action now where we get up and just do a a small little set for a standup show oh that would be awesome right I I fully support even three to five minutes where I just get out there and bomb like so bad like oh my God we can who is this girl get her out of here she's not tough not funny get her gone but I do want to just do it it's on my list of things I want to do for the first class they were asking me okay so how many students uh Max do you want was eight 12 14 I said definitely no more than 14 because if we do 14 everyone would have to do four minutes at most 12 might be closer to the five but then when I did my first class uh it everyone in the class I didn't prob lost and got 3 minutes okay yeah I think enough for for everybody for for all parties involved three minutes is Max and then the kid um was it CJ um he said oh yeah I'm going last so I'm headlining I'm like no you're not you do it the same amount of time as everybody else you let him know his truth okay Virginia thank you very much for your support because I've always wanted to do it Virginia I know you've set yourself out there and done a few standup situations Virginia Bell um jam oh Virginia did awesome she did she um uh I wasn't there at the last Open Mic because I got sent to Plimpton but great great show by the way shout out to Kelly of the Upland Club who put together a fantastic fundraiser y that was such a that was such a fun show it was the best set I've ever seen Sam Buck do uh great set by sherlin deader Dennis always any of these people but I'm dying to know you and me it's best say you don't know Sam pu but shout out to Sam Sam Buck he he's he's a he's a he's absolutely a good and Jane wants to know she's looking for the T on Ashton Spill the Beans oh oh he definitely did because uh when he went to when Ashton went to Congress this was like four or five years ago he said all these women are being trafficked I said dude you're projecting you're the one but like if it's if he was the trafficker um I don't think he was a trafficker but he definitely was complicit his best friend was Hyde from that 70 show and his second best friend was P Diddy it's just like okay but trafficking is bad all around I know that's a hot I know that's a hot button issue know but some people like like oh but it's bad unless it's one of my friends well so like when your mom said I don't want you hanging around with that group that's the same situation when you're involved and all around there you're involved yeah it's Gil it's Guilty by a Association that's it I I like should he go to jail even if he didn't do the crimes I just say yes not as much as P did he but there should be some time there's gonna be a lot of Fallout from this yeah I I mean I hope so but I'm not very optimistic because uh They said that the Epstein list was going to come out and then they sent out a list that was clearly fake because um everybody was conveniently on a Democrat on it just just like when uh when When Donald Trump and Rudy julani admit that they use his plane but he magically wasn't on that fake list at all right right wasn't him I mean if it if it was Republicans and Democrats on because uh perversion is a nonpartisan issue no that's just all of them yeah doesn't matter what your party lines are what you're voting if you think it's if you think it's just one party you are a sucker speaking of toxic uh jelly roll said that he posted on X for the final time and that's it and said this app is toxic oh I oh oh did Elon call him gay afterwards elon's out there giving away money right there like a million dollars to to flip voters in swing States I was like is what isn't that illegal oh oh oh not if you word it right say your right words he says I tell them to go to hell just like dude he sounds like my Latin teacher just like we are going to swing this date dude just talk normal yeah I don't I don't even understand he's the only billionaire that sounds like a damn speaking spell yeah why do you need my $7 so that I can stream on X I don't know why I do it but I'm here streaming on X hi like Elon save your money if you you need my $7 every month if you if you give the if you give the money out you it's not like you could see them voting I don't get it I really don't so we're here we're almost done with October Cindy writes that's because he's tarded oh my God rtb I can't get on X anymore what's up with that dum I I love these comments and oplis uh says sign sign her up for for next Tuesday's open m all right I'm not ready for an open mic next Tuesday but I definitely I do want to do at least 3 minutes of I just got to I for me not a problem getting a story going or not a problem sucking up three minutes it's the point of where's the laugh yeah just just stick to the short jokes no no stories in the three minutes just stick to short jokes bang bang bang I'm not good at punchlines I'm really not nobody starts off being good at punch lines yeah like it takes me way too long like it takes me three days to come up with a comeback and then I'm like yeah well of course it's still it's it's still not even your first year no but I feel like I've been gearing up for this moment my whole life AJ oh no you weren't you weren't listening to eight miles soundtrack before this worry no that's I woke up to Eminem this morning and I've been just duking it out I'm ready let's go get this show I feel I feel I feel like every Caucasian comic in Boston like that's their PumpUp song before you only get one shot no you get several shots it's the walkout song it's the same thing in sports you got to pick that one song to like whatever even my husband last night we got to we got to have an end the Night song the song that just knows the night is over I'm like do we I I don't think we do I don't want to shut down someone's good time um except if it's Diddy all right we went back to it okay they were asking um okay so the scent of the candle is pumpkin spiced buttercream to answer your question Shane right and it's absolutely delicious shout out to some of our candle vendors this one's salty Bay Company um affordable and smelling delicious I also like a do they also sell baby oil okay I'll stop sorry that's unavailable right now it's no longer on the market some of them all seem to have gone missing yeah Costco conveniently doesn't sell it anymore Shane I love a good candle Sandy I want to lick that candle actually you do because it smells delicious even though I don't like pumpkin spice but if you put it in butter cream we say yes and Cindy also writes sound the Jamaican horn PewDiePie oh so you definitely have kids you're right no Cindy doesn't have kids oh hear it is it on I we had um another show using the area in here and uh now I have to figure out what is working and what is not stop touching buttons that don't belong to you keep your hands to yourself it's really difficult I was lucky enough to have two handsy anymore this isn't 2009 oh God I saw some woman putting her foot so I took two flights um they were mostly good um but one woman had no shoe on and she was like what what Earline um Delta okay and she was like jammed her foot up into like the area beside somebody so like the foot was right next to someone's head and this person said nothing the entire time and I was appalled I was appalled for the person to the point where I wanted to say something to the lady next to me was putting the foot the foot Pusher to the other seat in front of her but no one said anything they just allowed this behavior when do we just start allowing this Behavior to happen in very small cramped quarters yeah because people are just pushing buttons we're in a little tin can in in the in the air and just a flight from Mexico when somebody's putting their foot into your section you're shoving it out just like I I I consider myself a very peaceful person but as soon as I see see a foot I'm ready to throw hands I don't care if I get my ass kicked like I'm ready to make a point get that thing gone I don't want to see it I'll be I'll be like Leo DiCaprio in Wolf of Wall Street just just like strapped to a chair such a good movie so underrated he just petting come on buddy you're doing all right but to leave a foot next to your head I the person had to have seen it there's no way they didn't see it oh that's that's what you do that's that's when you take this and you do one of these Cindy's gonna Hawk Tu she that or just bite it just like just like are you coming on to me is there something we should know about can't join the mile high club there's no room to even walk up an aisle in those planes yeah small yeah because they purposely made the toilets even smaller so you can't bang well thank God that's sounds disgusting I couldn't think of a blessed place that' be more attractive than that yeah Josh was saying oh you never been part of the mile high club like dude I don't want to imagine you hooking up with anyone we had a funny moment where we were on a cruise and they were doing this game called love and marriage so they got a young couple they like a newlywed couple a couple that's been married for the longest and somewhere in the middle they had that and uh one of the questions was where's the weirdest place you've ever done it or whatever but most of them got the answer correct it was very amusing but so you're asking this with your spouse back and forth both of us answered the same thing I was like where where was the weirdest place and then when he he told me the weirdest place I was like oh yeah yeah I remember that those were the days a long time ago that that was fun that's what you did when you were newlywed right I love how you went from Married with Children theme song to Argie bunker theme song right those were the days ah doesn't happen like that anymore we're old it it's but it's for the best yeah it's really for for everyone's benefit that that doesn't happen anymore yeah but then when you get into your 70s and late 70s early 80s that's when they start banging again they do listen I was at um an event and we do a lot of 55 plus communities uh and there's a w wide range of Ages in those communities but there was a particular night where it was like kuners karaoke and one of the gentlemen got up there and he left with several women I don't know what was happening over there but it looked like they were ready to go where did they go the whole table of them just got up hurry on let me all right ready to go I don't know what occurred there but there there was a moment and somebody was I I don't exactly want to know what that looks like but also I had a lot of happenings in my brain and I was just like good for them right all of them like how was that not exactly going to work it's a bunch of cons consenting adults God bless old adults old old I I love that they they that they could still find love and that was it that's it all it took was a Frank Sinatra song you know good for you end is near and then he died come to find out like I haven't seen him in a lot of the events and then he meant to take a Viagra but he took a worther whoops how could you not know it was wrapped get me my pill a worther that's great so good very enjoyable I appreciate that we've got a lot of events happening here week and it's Halloween season one of my favorite events is happening this Saturday in bash B Commons it's during the day they've got the Halloween parade and then they also have the Pet Parade so they put a bunch of animals that don't want to be in pet costumes in pet costumes some of them actually do look like they're pretty happy in those things but a lot of them are not like there are some cats that love to dress up I've never seen a cat that wants to dress but then most cats most cats don't but then like what cats gets grumpy if he's not wearing his tutu and their dogss they'll bring their costume over like put on my wings I saw a story today and our a step that I was like that's not even a thing picking out your dog or Cat's Halloween costume here's what not to do how happy that golden retriever was right well yeah right let your pet become accustomed to the idea wrapping your cat up like a burrito makes for a fun picture but it's not something that you could do right away you need to get them tolerant of being a burrito do make sure your pet's costume fits properly and is comfortable don't put costumes on your pet that blocks sight hearing mouths or movement do keep colors and ID tags on don't leave a costume pet unsupervised and how can I tell if a costume is upsetting My Pet Well if you put a whole Lion's M over their ears and face if they start pawing it off don't put it back on I don't It's upsetting that we need to make rules and lists like this to me because I think we should just generally know that true but it's more of a refresher at this point okay because like everybody deep down knows they they shouldn't do that stuff put your pet in a plastic bag there's that anyway just like the rules at the pool like don't run on concrete and and slip your head have you ever read the rules of the pool no but they're there for refresher yeah like don't pee in the pool like that just makes me you should have said that but there's one like basically like if you have dissenter don't come in the pool it doesn't it's not it's it's not what is like if you have Oregon Trail diseases don't go in the pool listen I just got a cruise I Just sh a lot of guy in the PO shoting at Buffalo oh I saw a lot of activity at the pool I'll tell you that right now we were in a cold plunge pool and uh the enjoyment of my day I had little random kids just touching me just trying to like climb on my back I'm like kid I don't even know you why why touching me you just have such mom Vibes I seemed comfortable she seems safe we'll go over there Cliff had somebody we were going through security and someone tried to hand Cliff a baby why do we look like the couple that wants to watch your kids while you're on vacation they just hand you the child leash the lady was like hand hand the baby over to him because the they were setting something off in the alarm and my husband's like wait what you want me to hold your baby it's best to stay away when it's other people's kids right like uh like like what one one dad handed me their kid from from from the and just like oh sorry I thought you were my wife did I ever tell you the story where we ended up babysitting a child in Scotland oh no some woman literally left her baby in a stroller his name is Jackson with an X we'll be back and she just went and went GR grocery shopping but why did you put it an X for Twitter because it's so great going no like Cliff is like what should we do it looks thirsty and I had no maybe three maybe four Cliff gave him a Coke CU he wanted a Coke and I'm like how old was was he six no he was like like three or four four maybe I'm like I don't think you should give four-year-old soda like I don't I don't know the rules anymore it's been so long since I had a baby I feel like you have to refresh all of these rules every 5 to 10 years cuz they get more stringent as mothering continues and I know for a fact you know Emily's got specific rules with Savannah and I'm like okay I lean on you those are your rules with your kid I I don't presume to give another child a soda so here I am babysitting a random stranger child my kid my kid can't have anything with carbon in it in a bar in Scotland in a fisherman's bar in Scotland where my husband's just giving fisherman oh she she must have been Brandy that's ay you're a fire girl leave your kid with a stranger never thought of that like I I really thought she was just getting groceries I oh no she was getting real by at least one fisherman oh my God now was this the same 55 community that you were had do the stories intertwine no they do not they are separate stories all together but I've just never I've never been so trusting enough with someone to be like here take my kid I'll be back for it goodbye like hand her a kid to you is is like uh is like losing a dog that you don't really want I love the fact that my husband was like trying to justify it too he's like you know those bartenders they probably see her all the time they probably know exactly who she is and nothing's going to happen to her yeah that's the problem they know exactly who she is just like who is it today I didn't realize she anyone at this B could be your dad like Jackson where's your dad oh it's me Jackson oh my God honestly I'm like I've never even but there's my husband well they probably know who it is and we we look like kind faces still like that's weird just at handle baby to a bar and strangers here you go take it so yeah we're those dude that that in America if there's a baby at a bar it's now a brewery right exactly thank you very much that's how it rolls around here that's how it works but yeah apparently we're the couple that you know it's fine to let my kid dangle off of that lady's back while she's in the pool and here hold my baby while we're going through security apparently we have kind faces we've been momed and Dad Zone just send them through TSA just put them in in one of those plastic those two they'll take him through put him on in I got yelled at going through TSA because I used the wrong bin the guy was very aggressive he was not very nice to me at all I used the wrong bin oh he goes what is that what does that look like to you and I'm like I I I don't know a b does that look like the other bins well no it looks smaller than the other bin bro I don't work here right I don't know I don't know why are you being beat to me I just wanted to get through security do that like did you just tell me to steal third What's your deal he was very passive aggressive I didn't like the behavior oh I have to do this again because we're going to Nashville for the ter terrible Pats we're going to be there to just oh am so happy the Pats are failing because that means comedy shows are coming back oh yeah right and PE and people are looking to do something Sunday shows are on fire because PS are yeah Sunday shows have been awesome keep failing Patriots they're back that that's why when Josh was rooting for the Celtics to make it to the finals I just like dude this affects you as much as me why are you cheering for them that we don't need that in our life then we had to cancel so many shows we we had to cancel like six shows in May it's exciting to win I get it but it's not for not not for me Josh and I had to do high school shows to make up for all the money we lost I'm sorry we've got a bunch of events that are coming up if you're looking to stay on top of everything that's going on in the cape please join our page events on Cape Cod our group is over 9,000 I want to get to 10,000 man we're at 9,000 and a half events on Cape Cod yes it's a lovely little group you can join us and we encourage you to drop any of your events as well make sure there are events people have been trying to slide stupid events in there like your yard sale is not really an event or like you going to your favorite restaurant is not really an event and I'm not buying your duck work whoever you are it's never going to happen so stop posting you're selling a duck duck oh duck right they're not they're just scams all of them are social media scams stop posting them there um but if you want to share an event that you've got going on in your town please feel free to do so I'm going to be out tonight sandwich to Verna for trivia at 6 AJ drop the comedy shows once again okay so com coming up Mo most importantly and this promo code is going to work for the next 11 minutes I have a 11 minutes I have a doomsday timer at 9:00 am for for this promo code to end so at at the top uh you you could you could Google Janelle Draper knockabout or you can click the link at the top of the chat which goes to Janelle Draper show at knockabout November 14th uh tickets are only 20 bucks but if you put in the promo code in the next 10 minutes you put in this promo code Steph all capitals you do that in the next 10 minutes you'll get a big freaking surprise oh a big surprise you will get a super big surprise bigly no big here we go uh we didn't get a chance to do any of our crazy crime here today but I did want to talk about the guy that was um pulled over for a DUI and cuz he thought thought he was still in the United States but he happened to be in Canada is is is that also the guy that tried to sell you the food Tru probably probably it was he going over there looking for that or also um I wonder who held his baby to get through the the security over there let him right through somebody at at Homeland secur it's no longer hold my beer it's hold my baby hold my baby we got things to do AJ where're GNA people follow you and find more of your comedy shows and all the fun stuff uh you find us at paperback comedy on Twitter Facebook you can find me at AJ he peny that's ajha peny that's how I that's when I type it out that's how I remember it ha Penny yeah even that's why I never pron never correct people when they mispronounce my name because that that's the way they remember and that's the way that they find it so I don't give a damn it's just like s Sarah Michelle gillar that's her actual pronunciation of it not Sarah Michelle Geller thank you but she never she never corrects people it's like yeah that's how people remember it I correct people for her because I feel like I I need to when they say that not that I'm often hearing her name well not these days anyway no Buffy it's been a while yeah um also we've got a karaoke show happening this Friday over at House of hatchets go see Curtis go see our friend Cliff throw some axes we'll be giving away some gift cards for you to join us to do a little ax throw and a little sing in karaoke and at that throw ask Cliff about the knife throwing He he'll convince you to not throw knives it's 20 bucks unlimited he tell tells people not to do it because you'll get bored but go specifically go to House of hatchets for the karaoke show on Friday yeah and ask Cliff that tell that you want to throw knives but you can't throw knives at the singers no that's not allowed they're in separate sections yeah but that would be you'll miss anyway why are the knives particularly heavy H yeah they are oh yeah I wouldn't do well at that not good at throwing projectiles anyway have a great day everyone we'll be back on the show tomorrow and uh go and minutes eight minutes you have eight minutes time is ticking everybody go get your Show tickets have a great day we'll talk to you later bye bye bye byebye all right trumpy so good