Gossios on food and family

all right let's do what Serina and I were in a entrepreneurial book club where Stephanie never read the right book and Stephanie was terrible at this book I really sucked at book club I did not fabulous I'm what I just had a visual I just had a proud of it hold on well well well look at us on a weird Wednesday oh my go H this is a first for everything been on a Wednesday yeah seriously so you got out of kid duty this morning not bad oh I know I know I didn't have to make breakfast I didn't have to go to the bus stop and no kidding I love it you really well I mean you've only got one you got a cherisher absolutely so in the studio with us today and we've also got a studio audience Victoria waiting on Deck right now to talk about she Rises Enterprises but in front of you we've got Thanos from the sandwich TNA and Junior George junor from captains yeah you're just Junior I don't know you as anything else people would come to the restaurant be like can I speak to George like junior or senior so I just took upon on the nickname Junior and everybody's like oh hey Junior I was so thankful I don't think we've ever talked about it but during pandemic I you know we everyone was struggling and trying to figure stuff out and you guys running a restaurant and the bleep show that ensued yeah I don't know what happened but I took to Facebook one day and I was like I'm doing a Facebook live because I cannot make these frakin tacos and I need to figure it out and you were there for like oh my God Stephanie what the hell is happening do you need flour I'll bring you over flour what do you need how many things do you need and you were like helping me with ba basic kitchen Staples just so you could laugh at me on the internet I think I was amused I had a good time was nice honestly I'm so thankful though I mean like that's really when we started talking and uh connecting with each other on social because that was where we could yeah that's it yeah pandemic was good for us at captains I did a lot of social media advertising um the town of Sandwich was very supportive and we did great during the pandemic a lot of takeout people you know flocked to the places that can be open and we didn't have that many problems nobody gave us a hard time so but the thing is you worked it yeah you didn't just sit back and be like who it's me I'm in the restaurant industry and I this is very bad yeah how about how about his singing career every morning he had something to sing about with the song didn't go together but he did it and everybody would text me did your brother sing again today yes yes he did obviously you saw it on the interwebs we know this well everybody was like oh we can't go to karaoke we can't do this everything's cancelled we can't do I was like all right well we just do it from the car right driving you made it up for everybody Lynn good morning Emily rtb thanks for joining us on the show this morning I am thrilled to be talking to you guys and I'm super psyched to be coming to this sandwich T Verna get close to your microphone Thanos oh am sorry I'm oh oh that is loud right she moves to you oh boy but it's in my bro's face too no he's got a he's got a a pretty face too well you can move back and adjust like we got to figure it out you want to get comfy baby this is gonna be something so talk to me about being two brothers in a restaurant separate restaurants in the same town what does the competition look like already all I could see is Step Brothers only it's real life Brothers uh I have to start the reason being I have to start is that it is cool it is not a competition but what the thing is my staff will tell me they're like your brother came in he went downstairs he went in the walk-in and he ran out the door with something that he needed and they're like we have no idea what he stole my staff knows uh you know where out of that like I'll go to the store on Route 130 no problem what is that so I we need a running list or a camera to see what he takes and nobody yeah I know how to hide from the camera go this one got one in his liquor room right so one day I walked in I had to get something like a bottle of vodka and I looked that camera now you're busted right out so where did the restaurant business come from Dad right Mom and Dad Mom and Dad yeah yeah yeah we started in 1989 at cap Captain Scott and uh we just flourished from there um I think my father was in the car business for many many years he can sell ice to an Eskimo that man is fun funny with the heart yeah and you guys really spend a lot of family time I think it's really important that you highlight your family dinners even though you work your rear ends off all day every day at the end of the day you will still get together you will still spend time together and you still generally like each other so that says something my brother's my best friend we've been together since 89 in business and then at one point my father's like got to get the two of you away from each other because fighting and killing each other or you're like you're his Alibi or he's going to get away with that well that's it what's the a what's the age difference between you two two and a half years yeah see that I mean that's kind of tight you're either you're constantly competing or beating each other oh but at the same breath we work off each other for instance like this morning he called me before I got here we talked about business we talked about what was going on what our week's goingon to be like what are we looking forward to like for instance this whole weekend is GNA be Mother's Day weekend happy Mother's Day to all your moms out there so we we collaborate a lot because the competition is only to say how good I am like my percentage is better or this is coming out or hey I bought this at this price and you know we don't like Target over the market we just try to like I'm on that side of town I'm like on on you know near the ocean sort of near the water and than was like more downtown with the community and stuff like that so he's stake I'm fish I well that's a good delineation except when he needs vodka from the walk-in we we love sandwich to Burna over on LinkedIn Carrie uh the Jons have boarded I've got two j1's coming any restaurants that need some J1 uh assistance they need night jobs they've got day jobs they need night jobs uh so definitely consider having a J1 uh they've got a time period most of them are here to work most of them want to make money and they really do a good job so two are coming from Jamaica uh We've not had level one English speakers before so I'm kind of excited for that and also I really hope they can cook you get home to a good cook me I still want some flavor in this house that was so funny during pandemic there was like that was the one thing that everybody was like soon as it opened up we couldn't get j1's no couldn't get anybody from what seas and that was like most of their Market to come over here make money and go home and you know that that was horrible well with the flex of seasonal people I mean you two are yearr round regular business people but you do see the uptick in the Su time we all do it's just there's so many people where I Amo at Thea it's a year round I know I am kind of seasonal but I'm opening around everybody's like oh did you just open today like no been no I'm here all the time yeah see the sign outside see the cars parked out yeah you have done a tremendous job of making that restaurant yours and also not to use a horrible word euthanizing it a little bit yeah yeah had a little uptake um it was nice because you know Co was good and we did good and my father was like you know we got to you know change the image and thing with C it was a Clam Shack yeah it was and now it's an actual beautiful restaurant and now that we got approved for the entertainment license I was telling you ear start booking bands you know like two piece I don't want to go like crazy there's no reason for like four piece band no because it's a small it's still a smaller restaurant yeah and we did a great job with the bar and we've created the deck and you've got the back area patio and then where they have the back patio too so it's got a whole Mecca of things going on it is really I'd love to see the expansion and the hard work that you've put in but also the growth in your restaurant it's really nice to talk about maybe um having to go to town meetings because that's kind of an awkward situation we're gonna talk to Victoria in a few minutes about her forray into being part of the town I mean we that's the only way you make things change right no but we've been part of the community since 89 and whatever we did we you know stayed about the rules and whatever Town meetings we went to we had never problems the selectman are great and the whole town was very supportive sandwich is a very tight Community it you know what I mean and they they're there to support everybody around you never see like big restaurants come in or it's okay that they do or even see like you know like franchises yeah we don't do that the cape doesn't do that well period no it's nice to see like people being like small business-minded yeah well you're here in Mash B we don't even have a hotel so wait is that Zach those are Apartments now those are Apartments could have swore I had the bill there one you probably still have a bill there uh Cindy good morning thanks for joining us Betty Nathan Stephanie thank you so much for stopping on by here this morning we've got Thanos we've got uh junior and we're just talking about being in the restaurant industry in 2024 at this point in time what do you contribute to your longevity your ability to do this is it because you've got support of each other is it because you're just hard workers um I think it has a lot to do with where my brother and I came from meaning my mom and my dad obviously they're immigrants both from Greece they met here but our parents just taught us how to just drive and push and when the pandemic hit I know that everybody across the board was just standing on a cloud or not a cloud but like what is going on here it's scary um my brother strapped on his boots and did you know a lot of awesome takeout yes like I made fun of like his singing in the morning but it it connected with people yeah and then bringing back in Sandwich being a small community they all took care of each other um I did my takeout I kind of built up a little um uh Food Pantry in the middle of the dining room cleared that out yeah but it was just the tenacity of of just not wanting to die and and I know it's a horrible way of putting it but when it first started they're like oh you're only going to be closed for a couple of weeks and then it turned into something that the whole world this real life yeah my my father's like you going to close like no I got game plan let's well there there's a new covid variant out there everybody not to scare anyone but it's called flirt that doesn't scare us really it's the name of it I was like oh my God stop but then it pushed like uh building the patios outside uh that we took advantage of that we already had in place prior to covid so we moved our our um dining outside we moved our entertainment outside um Junior and my parents got got together and and revamped a whole new style for the restaurant yeah um the whole it so I contributed to watching both my parents grow up uh to just drive to do the best for their family well it it's got to be so difficult yeah the restaurant industry is brutal good morning Stacy thanks for joining us yeah it is uh and margins are super tight food is like very weird right now the availability of it how much it is how random it is how do you deal with that uh byy by by in such weird ways you know you have to you just got to meet with your your Brokers you got to make the right decisions if if you don't then your whole menu will say market price Mark Mark Mark it's like Jenga with your emotions though how are you deal like how do you handle your stress you don't yeah okay you you don't you you literally step on it behind you and you're just you you learn to be numb to the feelings that it's being hurt and you drive to be with the people that you work with the people that are your team the people that you're with more than you're with your wife and my wife and my daughter and you talk about what's going on you prep next to them you cook next to them you listen to the the corny things customers say to you it it's it's a different world but but you learn and you appreciate how other people live yeah it's food it's connection it's it's really you're extending your own family life to your restaurant family more like mentality too people think like oh man you work seven days a week yeah I work seven days a week oh i' be so tired like you know what my mother when I was like 14 she's like you tired I'm like yeah she said you think you're tired then you know you're not going to be tired so don't think that you're tired go to work right you got it I go to work cuz I'm afraid yeah it is like a whole you know if he's if he's down I I'll pick him up if my my you know if I'm down he picks me up it's like the whole family gets together it's like we're gonna make this happen one way or another it's a team effort it's the same way you work with your employees I mean I have one waitress that's been with me for like over 30 years see that's what I'm talking about how do you keep staff how do you keep people involved Junior you do a really good job and I'm just an outsider that watches your interactions on social um because that's how we all interact with each other this day and age but I watch how good you are you celebrate your staff all the time you have fun little contests you give them fun little prizes you check in with them you play with them you really do enjoy you treat them like it is your your work fam is your regular fam for you because if I'm not having fun that somebody they not doing it right yeah because I want them to have a good time when they come they they want to come to work and be have something to give for after they're done like they don't want to be a going to work can't believe like for instance I'll have um if your name gets put in a uh a review and it's a positive review I give you $25 gift certificate from anywhere I'll pick you know Amazon that's so cool though you know you're rewarding them as they go because and then they feel good like I've contributed to the success of this business that came from my father's mentality this is like something he taught us he's like you know if if you make your employees part of the team and still be a boss because you have to be accountable I can't just go in there and give him a show and then walk out the door I mic drop I'm done here today make me money good luck yeah I'm like a pimp bring me your money I know you would like that though continue on but having them being he still is single shocking yeah wonder why uh you're married to your job I am by the same BR like still I mean I'm I will have time eventually I'm not like in the rush I mean I know I'm 40 six and then I look at how my you're rotten you are a horrible brother we horrible he's got plenty of time yeah and right you're a unicorn never been married no kids you're like a unicorn on teacher hard working funny ladies this Tinder swipe I got his phone number he told me to stop dming him I get it no you got to make your employees and it's hard to hold people because every everybody's throwing things at them and you see like like so and so's offering this money money and this person's offering this and you like say oh man like I don't want to lose these people because I want them to be part of this team and they feel good about being part of the team and you you lift their spirits up all the time and you do things and you know Lauren she's been with me since she was 17 years old now she's 22 Yeah and such a good kid yeah and I mean she's a grown-up now is uh baby fledgling adult but she has really got such a well adjusted hat on our shoulders she's got a great work ethic you always find like the what somebody has as like this is their plus this is what they're good at so I'm going take this person make them what they're good at we take that person make them what they're good at and then uh on Thursdays and Fridays David our bartender he he brings sheet music in to get the the customers involved in singing you know that's cool yeah and then I'm like why do I need an entertainment license I right this is free did you get in trouble for David's sheet singing I'm kidding good morning Sam Diane Rob Diana and uh Julian thanks for joining us on the show this morning we're just talking a little bit about work culture uh we're talking about how the longevity of your staff which is incredible um just being a boss and how important it is to celebrate the Small Things in everyone's space and that's how you keep staff I'm I it's really easy to get sucked into there's you know food is too expensive and we're drowning in this and we don't have any staff members and we're short staffed and we're closing at 6: pm. and you guys have done none of those things yeah I'm surprised that some of the places in the area that close early like I had customers coming there like you guys closing no come on in let's have a good time let's sit around to be honest as as entertainers when I'm out and I want like something at least wholesome a salad a something there's nothing available past 8:00 pm I you you know the four places that are open and that's it yeah that's one of the things that we're going to try to do this summer is get something late night um so that people come to the bar the outside patio bar and then have GNA have like food after hours no that's nice yeah um what do you guys got coming up for Mother's Day you're always doing specials you're always doing fun celebrating big things in people's lives uh Mother's Day uh it obviously it's one of the biggest days that come across our table when it comes to dining um just bunch of specials just enjoying time enjoying a lot of the people that we've been uh around our whole lives and finding time for your own mother who is a saint I give her a lot of credit I give her a lot of credit she's like is us some mes and this is what I want just Coach shoes you got seven half okay no problem I love your family so so much and uh if you've not had Junior Spen andopa let me just tell you it is like I dream about it it's like one of the weirdest things that I love and you make you're you're my favorite by far and I know there's a lot of choices out there oh yeah it's my favorite every time I see designer and posters up there you don't have to get another place to make fresh baked goods I love it um what else is going on so you you went you went to the town you got your restaurant uh entertainment license and how was that process oh basically first of all you have to you know fill out the forms you hand it in they ask you like how many capacity of how many people you want so you go for the full you go for like five people the B five people so then this says like then the building inspector the fire police and then the town will it's a lot of moving Parts yeah there is you know I just want people sing this is what I have to do yeah and then you get in front of the the the selectman did that make you nervous being like on televised TV it was my second time because the first time was I went for the liquor license get for me to be put on the name and my mother to be removed so all the transitions for me to be there Captain so the first time we were there and my lawyer was talking his microphone wasn't even on like you're in front of a live microphone probably not yeah turn it on always pretend it's live this is the the the so gift I'm bestowing on you so during the meeting they had quite a few questions which was fine it's it's normal that like oh how many people are you gonna have uh what time are you gonna do it so I'm like midnight senior's like he you going for I'm like I no no you go for the most so he's like you do 11 he's like like okay we'll do 11 so then they're like well what is the rule on outdoor patios for entertainment so they didn't know so like they're texting like everybody to find out it's like uh not to put anybody in on the bus but thano is only at 10 I was like no we'll do 11 the one up the one up in Brothers he did he did so then another selectman was saying H you know uh the East Wind coming down through that area you gota probably have the noise going down towards I'm like really would dick Albert come out of nowhere tell me and I mean I get it everybody has a job to play everybody's got a role everybody's got to think about all of the people in that area because the last thing that they want are problems and you know in the some of the restaurants that I've had to work in we've had to do sound studies decel studies oh I believe it because water carries sound so it does H happen I know that in my from the back of the restaurant on certain nights in the summertime I could hear entertainment in the Canal area yeah oh absolutely I don't care and I mean we do live on Cape Cod there's a lot of not in my backyards oh that's great over there but not in my backyard oh yeah we all have it but it was unanimously voted so we we got it done so yeah that's awesome yeah it was nice it's a it's another thing to put on you know captains you know well it's just another way to employ people I know a lot of struggling artists Duos oneman bands it's just another place that people can showcase what we do we have so many Artisans and cool people making cool ENT entainment on the cape and I think it's really nice for another place to be able to be open for that oh yeah it is especially in our area it's a nice spot yeah it's quaint it's not like around me is no residence I I have like Merchant squares across the street the water department another shop next door to me and everybody else so it's gonna be bumping over at Juniors and we're really excited for it I might be sneaking over from time to time I'm not gonna lie well you've been doing entertainment for a long long time oh my gosh yeah uh we've been doing parents hired me to do entertainment for a long long time ago I mean you've you've been at this for a while oh since 2005 for goodness sakes um he uh matd B and I laugh about it he is the longest running karaoke show on Cape C at the T definitely not getting paid enough no he's not he's not man oh no Maddie I hope you're not watching oh yeah he's watching definitely not getting paid enough you know um and then from DJs to one piece bands to um I got a couple things coming up down the pipeline of old 80s rock and roll bands fun I'm trying to get um The Deloreans back together again so whoever can poke around to everybody that used to uh let's go do it I want to do a whole weekend of it and I know I talk to them and they're ready for it I just need somebody to push yeah a little incentive well tonight you going to have trivia I'm very excited I'm going to be over at trivia it is from 6 until 8 we'll be mindful of the Bruins I do understand we've got a schedule to upkeep but our trivia is really fun it's interactive I I've never had even people that are like no no I'm not doing trivia then after one round they're like give me the paper I'm wicked SM I can do this no but I mean it's all ages so it's multigenerational so you can come with your family and the kids can give input as well as your 80-year-old Grandma so it really is super fun and interactive and uh there are no ties um so we make them do um physical challenges and it's really it's really fun you never know we have like 18 to 20 different challenges including like family feuds so it's just really fun to stop down and everybody everybody gets out the cameras they're like oh my God what are they goingon to make us do and it's from you know throwing Rubber Chickens to Mini Putt Putt you just never know what you're gonna get when you're gonna draw so when you nominate someone for your team you're not gonna send a ringer that you know will win something you have a fight club there last night we I was like oh you guys have drawn Greco Roman wrestling and these guys looked like they were gonna freak out I was like I'm kidding it's putt putt just come on down so we got a ring right over there in front of the fireplace absolutely it's super fun and we've got a great schedule events on cape.com is where you can find all of our uh shows we've got seven entertainers right now which has been really incredible to uh give jobs to stay-at-home moms retired teachers uh people that only have two to four hours of time in their day because they're busy you know being parents or uh need a supplemental income uh so that's been really super awesome to Branch our staff and we're always looking for more entertainers as we get tons of requests from PTO dances to corporate entertainment they're like we need one hour of a break so we've got a corporate music Bingo that we're doing this week just because they're doing it at lunch break for one of their teams of of 90 employees I'm like this is awesome you know what I mean any way you can take a break and reward your employees or the people that you work with every day I think it's so important and I really wanted to talk to you guys about the culture of your businesses because I see what you're doing and I think it's so super important to keep doing those things and that's where you're very different from a lot of restaurants I see I see a lot of other restaurants doing thing like they have a new employee they like put a picture up like oh welcome Stephanie she just started working here first timer you know she's not good at making Margarita's B I like that though you know they get excited about it maybe her Margarita skills will step up it's really important it is important um just it's a it's a thing yes yes it is Walter Thanos is my dog and where is the the disco ball is being rested I had to use it for an event Walter so we had to remove it from the studio they didn't get the full disco sorry Kelly Thanos and Betsy says hello and good morning everybody we've got a lot of people listening what do you want to tell them um before we leave uh I'd like to say thank you all for your support we've had a great great season hopefully we can go have another yeah we're starting a whole new one right now May May just like between the the the Kentucky Derby single de Mayo Mother's Day where we do like if you buy four gifts the different the captain you get one free for 25 so you do like four for 25 we throw in 25 for free yeah that's awesome so like you can enjoy it so your mom gets whatever you give her the 25 can can we talk about the bird in your bar it's gone it's not there it's gone no what happened somebody didn't like it somebody went oh okay you're not there yeah so yeah I got a phone call bir it was funny cuz I had a whole board health inspection they came down the girl's like oh there's a bird in here like yeah supp board they're like oh that's so so sorry so then somebody got mad because but I gave it away to a nice Sanctuary some somebody had I didn't know that there were girls they impregnated they got like hor not that bad I don't even know what to say right now I know I'm wearing glasses but drink your Cofe just drink your coffee and look down so somebody got upset in the the Board of Health call oh I'm so bummed out I like I called the this is fairly recently no it's not it's been has been yeah so MSPCA I called them and I'm like is it illegal to have birds in a restaurant they're like well if it's not next to an open flame I'm like no it's in a bar I'm not keeping it over the oven yeah chicken wing special I mean people have fish tanks all the time know it's different yeah because it's foul they call it foul or whatever so I had to give them up I'm so sad I know I thought it was a great addition yeah Choo Cho and sparting see you later oh bye guys but they're in a good place now you know good they live forever that's why they need to be I know seriously I was gonna get crazy though I would let them go and they fly everywhere like just under the fry LS can't explain that one to know why the phone call was made oh Marta thank you for joining us saraphina Hi how are you I miss your face I hope to see you soon all right gentlemen I will see you later at trivia yes uh anything fun and ridiculous that is happening that you need to let everybody know about uh I know right now yeah we have the whole Mother's Day week weekend come down to cabin good time I've got great specials nothing crazy just like I said earlier the gift cards is usually a great thing we do do that in this in the uh during Christmas people go crazy for that like I want four I got one three one myself Teachers Appreciation Week just as a reminder so if you want to grab a gift card to either one of their restaurants teachers will always take food absolutely yes for sure all right guys I will see you later both of you uh Victoria is coming up we're going to take a quick break in the show hang out with us don't go anywhere we're not ending this we're just doing a quick flip we'll talk to you e e e look who I got in the studio with me hello hello she Rises Enterprises we've got a one Miss Victoria here thank you so much for coming in I am excited to be here um you blew me away at the recent eforall you went to the pitch competition I did and uh was that the first time you've ever done something like that before it was talk about it a little terrifying um it was so exciting and it was so eye openening um just preparing and getting ready and then getting up there and it's just a different experience because you're being so vulnerable yeah right you're really opening yourself up you're putting yourself out there you're starting to write your story and you're like oh um but man everybody in that room was just like really positive uplifting it felt like a safe place to experience that and start the journey so so let's start from the beginning uh she Rises talk to me about this program that you've made yes so um I know your story you and I had this like quick little chat I was coming out of my doctor's appointment we're like FaceTiming each other and I'm like there's a lot here so much right so much so start wherever you're comfortable yeah so I mean I started we we're Coast Guard we've lived here for six years um and I just love this little community and it reminded me a lot of the community I grew up in um I grew up in a little town in Mississippi uh very big differences but you know you think yeah you know know it's funny how so many places work the same um but since I've lived in that small town I've been in pretty big diverse cities you know balore Oakland California and then landed back on the cape and as I started to engage more in the community I just really saw that there was so much opportunity like what you guys were talking about earlier how you keep people right because that's like you know what we're looking at in a community and it's it's creating the relationships and creating opportunity you you know seeing everybody and I just started to think you know Ash we we could do a little bit better and we we got to start with our kids you know our children are our future we've heard the slogan for decades yeah but to stop down and be mindful of how you're going to engage that is a very different space I mean I have kids I have kids and you know you you know my story a little bit so you know I had that you know shitty childhood that that hard start and I said you know what this is not be my story I went out I got educated I created a career I was you know brand new life had kids and then P bets are off the kids made me integrate what you think you know you're not like I'm going to be this kind of mom and I'm GNA do it this way and I see what you're doing over here but I'm not going to be that Mom then your child comes into your life and they they're the boss like they dictate how your behavior is because they're they're full different people yeah I mean they they are they are obstacles put in our way that we have to decide how we're going to incorporate into our journey and I think people forget that sometimes though when they're parenting yeah they do and and honestly like you know my son he really pushed me he was like you know I'm gonna need a little bit more than maternal love uh right you know he was like you're not going to be able to snuggle this away and so I had to educate myself you know given the childhood I had I didn't have like a a source of zero tools in the toolbox hi Mari good morning Leslie thanks for joining us Sam hi Bella and Anthony we love you we miss you love hi Ricky go ahead yeah no I mean I was kind of starting from this ideology of what I was gonna do differently how I was gonna love my kid differently and it was like no I needed to learn a little bit about neuroscience and I needed to learn a bit little bit more about spirituality because I needed the love and the patience and the hope to get through it I love it I mean I think you know as parents we have to decide where we're going to focus our attention so that we can get through it having kids is hard loving unconditionally and having forgiveness is hard and so many of us aren't taught I'm working on it yeah every damn day till the day you die always working on it I think that that it's funny that everybody at this table are like immigrant parents um and and hardworking individuals but it it just changes the way that you see things I think and we always see opportunity just a little bit differently and I love that we're always working to be better people and I think that a lot of people are stagnant in that space in their life for whatever reason it was like it's always been this way I was taught this way there's no movement here because it's worked forever well that is no longer the case here in 2024 good morning Don shout out to our West Coast listeners thank you for just joining us we've got Victoria Hair here and she is from she Rises Enterprises and you've got a new program yeah so I'm on my second year of my kids program so she Rises is all about women's empowerment originally a lot of women's coaching and after you know my own Journey as a woman and Coach having good role models it it's everything having a mentor that will have difficult conversations with you from a space of love and support is just like it's such an experience I didn't really know what that was I'm from a military background so there was always like I'm the boss applesauce you follow orders we do this this is how it is that's how my parents also were so when I did E forall I was like mind blown just because I was always looking for a mentor or you're not trying to take away from me you're not trying to put me down you're trying to build up the skills that I already have it was really eye opening for me in that space and I think that if you take from any situation that you're in and use those tools to better yourself you'll be fine it's not a blanket fix it's not something that's going to be like I have a mentor now everything's going to be okay no but it's nice to have somebody it's huge I mean for me I feel like in some ways that was one of the first times I really experienced love wow right because you see somebody see you so openly all the faults all the purities and says it's okay I know what you're going to be yeah let's let's try this how do you feel about this not someone that you're related to not your family it's just somebody that sees something in you yes to to and so that is one of my goals in my program with these girls is to be an adult in these girls' life that see something in them yeah that's amazing because we all need an extra person seeing us what what would it save us yeah in the long run if our kids all had that experience and I think it is important that it's not in the family sometimes correct you know because it it you know one of the statistics heard before is that with childhood anxiety one of the things that helps maintain it is to have confident secure relationships out in the community in the school not just in the family and so that Community is like key yeah well you all know what it's like to be we all have been a teenage girl before guys I'm sorry if you're watching here you don't but you also know what it's like to be be a teenage guy to to have that anxiousness to have that am I doing it right am I in the right space is what needs to happen and it's nice to have somebody on an outside going you know you're doing great you're in the right place well and they have no skin in the game they're not your family I mean it's huge it's huge and I think the thing that we don't talk about and this is my big you know platform with diversity is like diversity is so much more than you know the big topics race and gender it's my mind works differently I'm seeing things and experiencing them differently so having someone that has good you know feeling and wants to support me mirer to me help me process what I'm going through that's just going to make me sore you know and I think we really all have to be really open to how that comes across because everybody's so different our brains and how they work are all different yeah yeah well that's a big conversation now neurod Divergent how people are learning we're finally getting to the conversation that needs to happen we're not quite there yet with all of our programming and things and this is where your your space is in Kelly says role models and mentors make our lives so much better it does help us rise up and feel supported a 100% everything and I mean I'm I'm really into the idea of rehabilitating our communities and our people and if we put this work up front and we allow young kids to experience what it's like to get a mentor what it's like to practice life skills in a safe place with mentors and bring in high schoolers as the mentors bring in you know business people and like you said showcase the people in our community this is not about competition this is not about one program versus the other but how can we showcase each other so that these kids have all these different ideas of options they feel like this is the way it is this is the way it's always been and this is what I have to do and make themselves fit into a box that does not fit their form well and that's what we do here at lemon Adia we're really open and and willing and happy to show you where to find that things that you're looking for uh it's specifically why I'm on the board of the boys and girls club I'm so excited for their teen program that they're building because it's necessary we need a space for every teenager to go to like do something whether it's arts and crafts play ball be with the friend have a safe place to go where you're not going to make bad decisions or at least if you are you're going to have 20 people going it's probably not the best idea for you exactly and this is the mentor program it's like that checkin balance that it doesn't necessarily have to be because you know you've got no one at home at night or a situation that is just not a great space it's the most amount of places that you can give people directions to get so they can get there however their brain works and however their life is yeah yeah and I mean and it gives people an opportunity I think to be involved too people that don't think that they should be involved or that people that hold back and think you know I don't have anything to offer everybody has something to offer as a there's always one person one step behind where you are in your journey whatever that Journey was sometimes you know we go through hard things in life and we think that takes away our value or it takes away our opportunity but oftentimes if you just lean into that story and own those things and and and like you told Junior you worked it right you worked Co and what happened and you you work your story it becomes such a powerful tool for growth it does not have to limit you well I get exhausted for the people like I tried everything I tried that I already went there I already did it oh that's a horrible place to be it just makes me so I'm like okay and then I've got friends are like it's not working this is not working nothing's working what can I do and they're they're passionate about are you willing to do and that's it I had a conversation with a friend yesterday and she went and like spent hours getting a certificate to like go get something and it was really it was so motivating to see somebody do the most amount of work in 10 hours I've ever seen but they do it every single day yeah to work it to to be there for things I had a great conversation yesterday with Lisa Bates over at the um Cap Cod Children's Museum who's always innovating renovating working on new programs for our kids to have and really being mindful of growing that space and her and I were just talking about a mentor program or um some talks that we're we're about to give and working on a program to talk to other and and incorporating other fabulous women and she said the one thing that I find frustrating is the amount of misinformation out there and the amount of when people pretend to be experts or pretend to to have this space but really they're buying a program I know that Integrity that piece of Integrity it's hard it's really a challenge I mean I think that that's a challenge in the world just in general perod right like I think we're ran by capitalism right and so that overtakes Integrity a lot of times even when that's not the intention right you know a lot of times you don't start with that goal soul but it happens we're humans and we need to survive so maybe talk about that journey of where you you've gathered this information because you were talking about in your own Journey like I had to check Neuroscience like yeah yeah so um you did the work I I I have I've been you know I just have a a brain that needed to understand how things work so you know being young my my mother struggled with mental health illness most of my life with suicide ideation so being young you know I needed to understand my reality early um and then the father that raised me was an opioid addict so I the way that I coped with it was to educate myself so I became obsessed with science because that helped me understand the process of things um so then I graduated high school first in my family to go to college got a degree in biology um and always was just really interested in neur development Health Wellness how can I not get where they were yeah that's what it was all about right created that beautiful Healthcare it 12E career where that's where I got my mentoring that's where people saw wow you have something really valuable to offer we're gonna have to like shine you up a little bit we're polish you up a little bit um and and help you with that help you learn how to Advocate more successfully for whatever it is that you're trying to do or get um and then I had my son and that's when you know I think the integration had to happen so I needed to learn again what's going on how do I handle this what tools are available to me and it was through reading books like the body keeps score and growth mindset and how to raise your spirited child and taking I stopped working yeah and I just started to experiment with activities and how are he and I going to connect and I'm going to create that secure attachment with him and for two three years that's what it was about um all along you know I've had to develop that spiritual side of myself to give myself Hope on the days where I didn't feel like I could do it I mean again the parents that I had they're not really part of our our Liv right like you know one of them is you have no backup you have no tools you've got what you've learned cuz you've taught yourself these spes That's The Immigrant life set to you know you show up on an island and you're either going to survive or you're going to die mhm and I think you know that's so in my DNA that in these moments that comes up and it was like well I'm not dying right I'm not rolling over this is not gonna be my story and if I die you know I always have that image of Joan of Arc I'm gonna die with the sword in my hand I love it but I but I know from my past the one thing that's always been just so loud in my voice is like love love empathy like I can't do it out of anger even though that comes up no you have to be you're fiercely loving is a thing okay is such a thing it sometimes it doesn't where my cute aggression comes from I know like it's so cute I gotta squeeze it and I think we as people need to get more comfortable with that too Fierce love Fierce love is not like the oh you know we want more ice cream let snuggle Fierce love is like I'm gonna sit with you right now and we're GNA talk about this and I'm not leaving until because Fierce love is there's Stephanie there's Victoria and then there's us yep and us has to be okay yeah I'm not leaving until I know where that is and it's taken me my entire life you know we have five children and it it really took me until having Lily who is about to be 18 in two weeks I'm not going to get my feelings about it and she has taught me so much about what she she was always that like literally kicked me on the way out she's like listen lady I am here and you're going to listen to me and she was different and she demanded to be different she always did it her own damn way there was no way I was not going to do it her way could you imagine life without her no absolutely not but all of the ways that she's like Mom use your words I know you talk all day for a living but what I need you to tell me is this and what you're saying is this and you're doing this I'm like oh my God what a gift but really it took her to call me on my and that's one of the foundations of the program is the communication piece we're not really taught that you know and it was just like jior saying oh yeah we got our entertain payment license and then he went to like and we had the police department and the fire department and the forums so many times we're not taking time to break down what we mean when we talk correct and kids are especially victim to this just it's a habit we all I do it I mean I'm probably G to do it today and I'm gonna catch myself and I'm gonna but it's like you know we say get ready come on get ready let's go it's time to go we gotta go to school what does get ready me I know I need you to get your socks and then your shoes your water bottles on the table put that in your back grab your backpack get out the door you know and my son he made he was like a wall he made me I always call him a mountain it was like no you're gonna look at me and you're either gonna climb up this or you are gonna die at the bottom right and it's true and I thank him for that every day because I you know getting out of the childhood that I got into the career that I got I thought I had I thought I knew I thought I had what I needed I like I'm I'm getting you know I'm G to make the money that I want to make I'm GNA get the boat I'm gonna do these things and then I realized oh no I didn't have it you're not even ready yeah me and ego we wrestled we wrestled for a minut a true thing oh Kelly oh my God Lily is such a love bug she is awesome yes absolutely John thank you so much for joining us Jackie how the heck are you thanks for joining us on the show this morning we've got Victoria hair she Rises Enterprises and go girl and we're just talking about really the the impetus of your program the beginnings of where this came from and the need is so great right now to have mentors in our community in Mash p uh and you're starting right here your your um husband Miss stationed here yep yep Coast Guard so we're stationed here for we've been here for six years we've been able to stay strong for a while and I mean I want my community to if I'm not doing this in my community Integrity Integrity right I mean that's I think the best way to say it and then maybe we'll see where it goes yeah you know I like you were asking earlier about the curriculum and the research once I started to realize kind of the themes that we need mentoring on and we need support and knowledge on earlier on I um I I thought you know families are overwhelmed let's be real like there's a reason why we say this is how the way I learned to do it this is how I'm going to do it this is what it is it's because we are all exhausted trying to survive you know like with the economy of the world yeah it's scary place out there right now it is it a lot it is it really is and I mean we can we again we can have this hard conversation and it be in fun and in love yeah right because we're not giving into it right we're going to affect change right and I think that that is what so much of this was about and so I went I wanted to do how do I work with the schools how do I collaborate with schools how do I support schools I began to substitute like over the past two years and our teachers work so hard they're so overwhelmed they love our kids teacher appreciation we do something nice for a special educator in your life please teachers are I mean what they're doing is just really amazing and they're struggling between the state and federal mandates that come down Administration expectations classroom man I went to school to be a teacher and I got into radio and I stayed there and I was like I can't even imagine I substituted for a couple of years and I was like no freaking way now what they have to deal with phones bad attitudes parents that don't support them um school systems that don't support them and it's a sh sandwich and they are stuck in the middle and and we're losing our grade Educators we are and and I think so many people are throwing their heads hands up and we're getting kids that are you know not able to read grade level in high school it's scary it really is and I mean I I want to go out into the world and enjoy myself and if we don't have people that are working there and want to work there and want to be in this world and it's not going to happen so we need to get our kids ready for that yeah and um so I I started looking to Castle and I used Castle as a way to like organize the curriculum so Castle is the academic curriculum outlines that the Massachusetts Department of Education requires schools to implement and it's all about like self-awareness self-management decision making relationship skills social awareness and so I just began to use kind of the foundations I've learned from my parents parting if I'm not having fun again it's so funny that the segments you know everything's like this was this was purposeful everything threads everything threads but if it's not fun then why are we doing it if it's not like I have to contend with these devices I'm gonna have to be fun that means I'm gonna have to move my body my son is sensory I'm sensory I'm gonna have to engage all five senses yeah I'm going to have to get them out of their regular thinking patterns their regular behaviors and engage into something new that they feel they hear they see they taste whatever and that's the only way I'm going to be able to get them engag so I gamify so much I make it interactive and then I think one of the biggest Keys is getting those mentors volunteers into the program to model the behavior one of my favorite parenting quotes if you know me and you're watching you've heard me say this a thousand times sorry but parenting is a journey from authority to inspiration we have to inspire their behavior their choices and so that's what the goal is I'm going to show up and and be fun I'm going to be kind I'm GNA be understanding I'm gonna have hard discussions and that's not going to be where we no one's punished for it right and there's a reward system because let's be real well that's it you said the word right away as soon as you gamify something it changes everything it does it does I always did that even with like washing the baseboards I'm like we're playing sock hands today everybody get into the bin and find an unmatched sock and I put them on their hands and I'm like we are doing sock hands and they're like yeah meanwhile I got my kids Polished in the baseboards total manipulation total manipulation listen we got it done it was fun they got rewards afterwards the attention is good you're get you know you're getting you know and you're teaching them you know Mary Poppins hello you're teaching them these were these were my role models exactly those were my role models same no I have to say I read the babysitter's Club books when I was when I was a kid and I was like the babysitter I would come with all the kits of all the fun stuff I'm like we're making a mess and we're doing it at your house and your parents are paying me for it let's go the best I mean I still love to do that seriously I still love to do that I mean is that now what the program is exact Mark says I don't want to mentors in our community it's so true these kids are zombies right now and you're talking about waking them up and exactly well I you know another thing I say a lot is in the event of a zombie apocalypse and everybody laughs at me but look around we're actually in one and you didn't notice around you know how often we're in a room that's one thing that I try to do if you could ever get in an elevator with me you're going to notice somebody just like hi I'm like gonna try to you know and I am like let's let's let's go I I'm I make the awkward eye contact like let's talk a little bit I love that you know like let's let's talk I am also that person which is why see it I don't know how the two of us have not come into contact sooner the world wasn't ready the world wasn't ready it all definitely not in due time and I mean you're still gamifying everything I mean everything that you do even even this you you bring so much fun and energy and lightness which a lot of people are afraid to do it's a it's a hard thing to withhold it's I mean it takes work and you do it like it's impressive well it's an eight the the the wires in your brain are if I just would love an MRI like you know what's happening up there let me see this is only on one coffee yesterday I had to have fasting blood work they were like are you okay I'm like I'm crazy I'm like this is me naturally coffee actually chills me out a little bit well see again that's the neurodiversity you know that it does for some we had help with our son at the beginning when I'm like I'm trying to learn how to do all this how to manage all this so we've had counseling we've had therapy we've had jri come like we are a family that I I am not going to die at the bottom of the thank you very much for talking about the struggling like you've been so open about a lot of stuff today and it's like very important I think that people need to orate this you don't need to stamp it down that we've taught to St it down we will not heal we will not heal as people if we don't start owning our stories we will not it cannot happen I mean um when the the night of my son's first birthday party I got a phone call that one of my really close friends in high school had committed suicide and my father was an opioid addict until he overdosed and became a vegetable in a nursing home and I believe that if they knew more that people were struggling and that there wasn't so much shame and labeling in it that they would have been able to find some peace without going that route you know I feel feel like other things could have been available and you know my my story is shocking to some it's overwhelming it can be like a huge like oh my gosh I don't know where to go from here but for me again like the power in it yeah the power of not dying at those Hills is just like and that gives me the Hope like you know this has this is gonna have a good end and I feel that good end right now I haven't I have a nice home with a safe family you know things are still Wild we still need support and Grace and we're figuring it out but I am so grateful for the safety that I have every night for the security for the love in my family at the end of the day my son nuzzles in and he says he loves me although he told me everything opposite throughout the day at the end of the night I'm the best mom as long as I keep that you know but that's love too is letting him show himself like be that way and at the end of the day he can still say I love you and until you know there's a Time there's a time where change is necessary right but he's he's he's nine so he's got a little bit yep and I mean it's still the same exact way where Lily and I were in each other's faces because she's a 17y old girl yesterday this morning she's like Mom braid my hair I'm sorry I know okay fine I know forgiveness is amazing to be a that's safety that's security and I think more more people need to feel that because not everybody feels that at home no it's so true talk about go girl yes so that is what we are doing at Yugo girl so Yugo girl right now has mostly been a summer program I've been doing it with the mash P we did do an after school and I just that was real I think that was really hard doing it after school there's so many comp long day it's a long day there's competing priorities and there's a lot of great enrichment programs our school already offers so you know I don't necessarily want to take away from that it's finding a way to integrate it more so right now I'm really focused on the summer this summer is super exciting four weeks three days a week 12:30 to 4 I know that's a lot um it's right after the Falcon Discovery Camp that was intentional that's the way I want this program because that's only a half day right so that doesn't give parents a full day of support but it's free that Falcon Discovery Camp and any other Camp is going to be you know2 200 plus dollars a week per child so we just tagged along at the end of that so that parents have a full day for those weeks amazing and we priced it so that hopefully everybody can go it's $80 for four weeks yeah that's really incredibly awesome it's really I wish I had this program when my teens were of that age you know said the same like Lily Is Amazing by the way she's a lot and I hope I hope to have Lily at our summer program this summer doing tea for us yeah being a mentor too she wants to be involved I mean I think you know I've already got uh three High School um students that are mentoring throughout this three weeks um one from Mash p and then two that are different school districts y um and I've got a ton of local women that are coming in to speak Miss Kate cod's gonna be there love her I Ashley Clark is amazing I I was there I got to vote for her I was on the judges panel right and I was I have to say she is really branching this program it just it's a baby program they just had their first year last year this is second year and she is like she's rocking it she's she really is I mean with Grace and style Miss cality absolutely yeah she really is um we have other we have our um eforall third place winner coming and doing our uh shaved ice tell about our story um and you know at the end the very last day we're going to throughout the program plan a celebration day at the end because because we're gonna you know you you have those hard conversations you have awkward moments that's going to be one that's one of our ground roles expect it expect difficult conversations here but expect love and understanding on the other side that's a ground rle perfect we have to commit to that every session but at the end we're going to plan a big celebration and we're going to party we're going to karaoke I love it we're going to have a disco ball we're gonna have shaved ice um and just I think we have to celebrate these things more I I was listening to something one time it was like in an American culture we teach each other how to celebrate the good things the graduation the marriage the baby but we don't teach each other how to handle the hard things the funerals getting hurt and your sport being taken away the you know and and it's like we've got to learn how to celebrate life like the real meaty parts of life more and in togetherness and that's Again part of the healing Journey it's necessary yeah how do people get signed up for you go girls yes so right now you just go to the mash P website and you can sign up through there um anyone that's interested and needs any type of financial support reach out to me reach out to mash perre um Mash perre has been amazing they support this initiative and and you know doing more for our community than just the Athletics which are amazing but diversity we want diverse options um so yeah just log on the mashby rec website you'll find you go girl there um you can contact me too if you ever want to do like a little popup um I'm I love kids and I love the youth and I I truly believe and enjoy the connection and response that I get from them when they see someone that looks different someone that will play with them and someone that will talk to them like not an equal but like you know a little bit more grownup than sometimes they're talked to you know then you're just more than just you're validating them I I'm trying man you know I'm trying to see the little me on the other side of every single one of them be like I love you and you and you are and you're doing it Victoria Hair I definitely welcome you to our Mash B Farmers Market you're going to be seeing a lot more of her and we we have a lot of family wellness planned for you and I'm just really looking forward to working further with you because you're just such a bright light and we're so excited to have you in our community much needed same same y same thank you Stephanie thank you have a great day everybody whatever it is that you've got going on we've always got entertainment we're pushing our 55 plus speed dating event until the end of the month over at 10 pin we got to get a couple of people situated and I know a lot of people wanted to participate uh just the day wasn't working for them so we're pushing it back a couple of weeks and make sure you check all of our events events on cape.com um we'll get you organized and settled in we've got a lot of great activities coming up for you this summer 632 events we have planned for 2024 and how did you do that oh my God I don't know and we're still adding more the team here is always growing so if you want to be a part of us get a hold of Hank Hank lemon ado.com he'll definitely get back to you I am in upated have a great day everybody we'll talk soon awesome bye bye she es Hank is coming up next with our afternoon programming lunch break with Hank next on lemono